Manning: Odd man out

Honest to god, I don’t know why I read the New York Times. If there is such a thing as evil idiocy, and I believe that evil idiocy exists with all my heart, surely its corporeal manifestation is none other than the New York Times. And every time I read the New York Times I find the way they report and their method of propaganda to be so transparent you wonder why they bother for surely any child could see through the New York Times fog, or maybe its smog. Today the New York Times presents us with a tale of Manning’s troubled youth complete with asinine title.

It’s not enough that Bradley Manning’s (You remember Manning, the guy who is accused of giving Wikileaks those “secret” documents) life is over, no, the NYT isn’t satisfied with leaving it at that because it is doing its patriotic duty as sniveling weasels always do ( I dislike patriotism intensely) by defaming Manning in every rotten below the belt cowardly way possible, and then some in order to provide cover for the rotten Obama and the rotten Obama administration and well, the whole rotten federal government. But then that is exactly what I would expect of patriots because the word patriot is short for patently ridiculous idiots or PATently RIdiculous idiOTS if you prefer, or not. Whatever.

The Times portrays Manning as an odd man out, one of those, you know, quiet ones. And you have to always watch out for those quiet ones. The Times reveals the awful tortured truth that Manning -- now hold on to your shorts -- was made fun of for being a geek by his classmates in his youth! Gods! Horrible! Gasp! Oh still my racing heart!!! The brutes, they called him a geek. I can’t believe it, no wonder Manning stole “secrets”, he was getting even with those childhood tormentors. Who needs shrinks when you have the writers of the NYT? But it gets worse yet. It turns out that Manning is gay. And doesn’t that just about explain it all? I mean, gay, c’mon, why that practically makes Manning an Arab terrorist!

Okay, I know we are all shocked by these revelations regarding Bradley Manning, whose mother is a native of Wales we learn from the intrepid NYT, which only shows the geeky and gay Manning is practically a foreigner. But it gets worse still, I hesitate to reproduce the following information and I would request that pregnant women and those with a heart condition to not read the following or please leave the room. It turns out that Manning refused to say the pledge of allegiance. You know, the more I learn about Manning the more I like him. Anyone who refuses to pledge allegiance to a stupid piece of cloth, old glory though it may be, is all right in my book. I refused to pledge allegiance as well, I think you had better watch out, I might be capable of anything, anything. I might even piss on your hubcaps.

And the New York Times drivels on even more but it isn’t worth bothering with, actually none of it was worth bothering with. As I read through the article (while pausing to wipe slime from my eyes) it struck me how much the New York Times reinforces and codifies the worst aspects of American culture with this hilarious send-up of Manning’s oh-so “troubled” youth. I mean, who didn’t have a troubled youth? Oh yeah, the people writing the article, but look how they turned out, automatons for the State. They probably don’t even drool on their pillows. It would never occur to them that perhaps the reason that Manning did what he did was because he felt it was the right thing to do. In all fairness I know the NYT cannot tell right from wrong so we cannot be too hard on them.

I keep wondering just what secrets could there be? What secrets do States hold in their hidden dank and cold hearts? The best potato salad recipe in the whole world? That Richard Nixon wore women’s undies? The real truth about the Loch Ness Monster? What secrets, that’s what I wonder because States don’t have secrets. They like to pretend they know things that they cannot tell you because it might jeopardize national security, which is to say the purpose of pretend secrets is to make you more subservient than you already are (if that is possible), but the only secrets are in the private lives of politicians and frankly, I have no desire to learn them nor would anyone else in their right mind. True there are manufacturing drawings for nuclear bombs and space age weapons (that were tested out in Iraq) but that had nothing to do with the documents that were released. I think the real reason Manning must be punished, and Assange as well, is because they are seen as defying the State. And just like gangsters of yesteryear the State must not appear to be weak thus Manning and Assange must be made examples of.