Please Watch Football this Sunday

Dear DeadHorse Denizens and Patrons,

This upcoming Sunday, September 11, is the tenth anniversary of September 11, which makes it perhaps the most solemn and hallowed day in the history of America’s calendar. It is also the first Sunday of the National Football League’s regular season.

In light of these two facts, I urge all of you to watch football on Sunday. If you cannot do that, at least turn your television to a game and do not advertize to your neighbors that you are not watching America’s Fantasy League Employees.

Why? In times like these, you can never be too careful. Just as AT&T was more than willing to help out with wireless wiretapping, I suspect the FBI will be asking Nielsen for some information on Monday. Anybody found to be engaging in suspicious activity, such as not watching the NFL, might wind up in Gitmo. You could have been plotting a terrorist attack, after all.